Commodore Norrington Operating Instructions

BY: Alicia Graybill

Congratulations!
You are the proud owner of Model no. 0709033-SCOMMODORE JAMES NORRINGTON. The information in this manual will ensure swift, safe and duty-bound functioning of this model for many years. Be aware that this is
the S model, not the H model and, therefore, certain instructions as listed in the H model manual will not apply.


TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

Name: James Norrington
Type: Jilted Lover/Consolation Prize
Manufacturer: Dauntless Naval Corp.
Height: 6"1"
Weight: 180 lbs.
Length: Varies with temperature and companionship.
Generally no more than 8" nor less than 5"
Colour: English peach


INSTALLATION

The primary requirement for installation of the
COMMODORE NORRINGTON unit is an existing CAPTAIN JACK
SPARROW or ELIZABETH SWANN unit. Which unit needed
will depend whether your model is a S unit (in which
case the CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW unit is required) or a H
unit (which will require the ELIZABETH SWANN unit.)


ACCESSORIES

The COMMODORE NORRINGTON unit comes equipped with the
following accessories:

(a) Outrageously brocaded dress uniform in an 18th
century British Naval style.
(b) White and brown wigs.
(c) A beautiful sword, gold filigree inlay in the
handle, the tang is the full width of the blade and
perfectly balanced.
(d) Iron manacles suitable for use on the CAPTAIN JACK
SPARROW model. These will be especially important if
you have both ELIZABETH SWANN and CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW
models, whether you have purchased a S or H model
NORRINGTON.

Optional accessories in specially marked packages:

e) LIEUTENANT GILLETTE or LIEUTENANT GROVES model
(complete with removable uniforms if purchasing the S
unit NORRINGTON)


OPERATING PROCEDURE

To activate your COMMODORE NORRINGTON, insert the
accompanying CD containing 'Rule Britannia' into a CD
player. If a CD player is unavailable or the CD is
missing, activating a CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW unit in the
immediate vicinity will turn your NORRINGTON unit on
(depending upon whether you have a S or H unit, make
sure you take safety precautions.)


CLEANING

Unlike the SPARROW or TURNER units, the COMMODORE
NORRINGTON model is fully-self-cleaning so there is no
necessity to remove his uniform, immerse him in warm,
soapy water, and scrub vigorously at all his nooks and
crannies unless this is an activity that you choose to
engage in. Be prepared, if you choose to engage in
this behavior, to deactivate any CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW,
ELIZABETH SWANN, LT. GILLETTE or LT. GROVES models in
the vicinity, especially in the case of a S model
NORRINGTON.


FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Q: My NORRINGTON unit has taken to moping around all
day. What is wrong with his programming?
A: Absolutely nothing if there is a functioning WILL
TURNER (model no. 0709032-S/H) unit in the vicinity.
Be aware, the presence of a WILL TURNER model with a
COMMODORE NORRINGTON model, especially the S models in
combination with a CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW unit, can lead
to serious consequences, including but not limited to
damage to any or all three units.

Q: I purchased the optional DAUNTLESS and INTERCEPTOR
playsets and my NORRINGTON unit is attempting to blow
the INTERCEPTOR playset up with the cannons located on
the DAUNTLESS playset. What am I doing wrong?
A: It is most important that you a) no longer allow
your CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW unit to play on either
playset, and b) you reassure your NORRINGTON unit that
neither playset is under imminent danger of being
commandeered. Suggested ways to reassure your
NORRINGTON unit include: confining any CAPTAIN JACK
SPARROW units to the PORT ROYAL GAOL playset, adorning
any CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW units with the iron manacle
accessories, or restraining your WILL TURNER unit with
appropriate ropes and gag.

Q: I bought the H model COMMODORE NORRINGTON but
whenever he gets near my S model CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW
unit, he can't keep his hands off him. What can I do?
A: You can return your H model to the vendor for a
replacement (obviously the H model is actually a very
repressed S model) or you can purchase an ELIZABETH
TURNER model and see if this corrects the malfunction.

Q: It seems the batteries in my COMMODORE NORRINGTON
S model don't last very long. What can I do to improve
battery-life?
A: If you own a CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW S model, make
sure he is deactivated when you aren't interacting
with him. He is obviously turning on and interfacing
with your NORRINGTON S model when you aren't looking.
If you don't own a SPARROW S model, make sure your
ELIZABETH SWANN model, GILLETTE or GROVES models are
deactivated for the same reason.

Q: My COMMODORE NORRINGTON model keeps trying to hang
my CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW model. What can I do?
A: If you have not previously purchased a WILL TURNER
S model (or H model if the S model is unavailable), do
so immediately. The WILL TURNER model is programmed to
correct this defect.


TROUBLE SHOOTING

Problem: The COMMODORE NORRINGTON S unit walks in a
very ginger manner.
Solution: Separate the COMMODORE NORRINGTON S unit
from the CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW S model for a few days
to see if this corrects the problem. If this does not,
try leaving a bottle of lavender oil where the two S
units can find it.

Problem: Your NORRINGTON attempts to board the BLACK
PEARL playset where your CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW unit
resides.
Solution: If a NORRINGTON S model does this, there
should be no problem. If a NORRINGTON H model does
this, try moving the BLACK PEARL playset to a
different room (call it a "different port").

Problem: Your NORRINGTON whines on endlessly about his
relationships with Susan and other female names, none
of which are ELIZABETH.
Solution: Return this model to the vendor for
reprogramming as you have been issued a STEVE. These
models look very similar but are programmed very
differently.


LIFETIME GUARANTEE:

Your COMMODORE NORRINGTON unit is fully guaranteed for
the life of the product (approximately 70 years)
against manufacturer's defect and average wear and
tear. If, however, you allow your COMMODORE NORRINGTON
model to turn pirate, ye're on yer own, mate!

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